Define “great mom”?

What makes a good mother is different for everyone. One could define a good mother as being financially able to provide for their children. Other mothers would say being able to be emotionally available to their children. Some may say it is a balance between the two and more. Whatever the case maybe, it is difficult to say as everyone has different views on what makes a good mother. So here is a collective top 10 traits for good moms. (Disclaimer: This is not saying that you need to have all the traits to be a good mother, that is not the case. This is saying some traits could be relatable to you and some may not be. But guess what? That is okay. You are human and not a robot. We are mothers and are in this together. We are not perfect! You and I are just doing our best!)

Good Mom Traits:

1. Patience – This is one of the most difficult traits I would say. Motherhood at times is on the go! Sometimes your scrambling the kids out the door in the morning for school or running late to an appointment. Having patience is key! Let’s face it! sometimes motherhood wants to make you scream! Having patience may prevent you from saying something you”ll regret. Plus, having patience can help role model to your children how to act in stressful situations.
2. Play with your children – We live in a society where people are on their phones, constantly. It is important to get off all technology and play with your children. Whether it is playing Barbies or Legos! Get on their level and play on the floor with them. Playing with your children can create an emotional connection, fewer attention seeking misbehaviors, and having more cooperative children.
3. Apologizing for your Mistakes – By apologizing for your mistakes, you are teaching your children to own up to their mistakes. Take accountability for their actions. We are the first role models in their lives. We need to set the example.
4. Keeping your word – One thing about children is that they do not forget, well most of them. Keeping your word is important. By keeping your word will show your child that you mean what you say and going to do what is planned. This again shows accountability and builds trusts.
5. Questioning your mothering skills – Sometimes as a mothers we question if we did or said the right thing. It is okay. Sometimes guilt kicks in and has us starting to question ourselves. Just know, we do not know all the answers and sometimes every situation that our children brings to us is more unique than the last.
6. Allowing children to make their own choice – I grew up in a authoritative household where my mother would make decisions for me. I did not feel that I had a voice of my own. Having choices is something that I allow my 9-year-old daughter to do within reason of course. I want her to understand that there are consequences to every action. For example, for the past year she has started dressing herself for school. In the morning, we sometimes rush out the door for school and she does not like her outfit because she is in a hurry. I gave her choices. I have told her by not getting her school clothes ready at night, she will feel more tired in the morning by frantically choosing what to wear. Plus, she may not like the outfit. Or, she can continue what she is doing and deal with choosing her outfit in the morning. She chose to now get the school clothes ready at night.
7. Mom Guilt – Mom guilt is a term that given the feelings of shame and guilt where one feels that they do not live up to their own or others expectation in their role as a parent. Sometimes we may have this feeling. Where we discipline our children and have a sense of guilt afterwards. These feelings occur when parents feel like they are not meeting their children’s needs or fulfilling their role as a “good mom.” Learning to manage mom guilt can help you live a more meaningful life.
8. Demonstrating respect to others around us – It is important to be respectful to people especially strangers. Children are like sponges. For example, saying please, thank you, opening the door for someone, picking up something on the floor that someone just dropped and give it back to them is great example of being respectful and courteous. Of course, always prioritize safety to children. Parents are the first teachers to their children. How we treat people can help influence them to treat others.
9. Being Positive – One of the most difficult things in life is remaining positive when there seems to be no answer in sight. Motherhood can consist of ups and downs. By looking at the pros and cons to every situation may help. Depending on what the situation is. One of the most common ways to remain positive is have hope. To understand that there is a light at every tunnel. Other caregivers may rely on their religion to get them through.
10. Advocates for her children – Parents are the voice for our children. Whether something is not being done for our child or they are being treated unfairly. When this does happen we speak up. We know our children the best.

Question: What traits/qualities did you like? Is there one that you want to work on incorporating more in your life? Is there one you like that is not listed here?