Here are some of the most random mom jokes/sayings that are funny as they are relatable:

1. “It’s spicy” is the universal mom code word for “I don’t want to share.”

2. The quickest way for a mother to get a child’s attention is to sit on the couch and look comfortable. 

3. The truth that no one tells when you first have a baby: Both of you come home from the hospital in diapers. 

4. What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone and telling your mom.

5. Mom’s recipe for iced coffee:  Have kids, make coffee, forget you made coffee, put it in the microwave, forget that you put it in the microwave, and drink it cold. 

6. How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, obviously, and she has to do it or else it won’t get done. 

7. My kids asked me what it was like to be a mom. So, I woke them up at 3:00 AM demanding to know where my lucky sock was.

8. What’s the fastest land mammal? A toddler being chased by mom because they want to know what they have been chewing on. 

9. Mom: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away…While daddy snores next to you. 

10. A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day.

11. Motherhood is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time. 

12. When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed. 

13. “Good luck robbing my house. My home security system is LEGOs on the floor.”

14. “It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of food that my kid didn’t finish…”

15. My kids:  Turns a 30 min. hike into a 2 hour hike because the floor is lava and they can only step on rocks. 

16. Motherhood:  Watching Frozen 2 even without your kids present.

17. Taylor Swift needs to write a song about the heartache of leaving the grocery list at home.

18. If you don’t use your mom voice on Alexa, are you even a mom in the 21st Century?

19. *Mom ask toddler to grab toilet paper.* Toddler brings back their toy, a feather and a notepad. 

20. Moms don’t wish they could sleep like a baby. They wish they could sleep like a dad.

21. How do you know when something is officially lost? When mom can’t find it. 

22. Motherhood:  Where a solo trip to the bathroom no longer exists. 

23. Silence is golden. Until you have children. Then it’s highly suspicious. 

24. What the only thing kids can’t sleep through? The creaking of the floor when a mom sneaks away. 

25. What do mother spiders complain about the most? How much their kids spend on the web.

I hope you enjoy these as much as I do! Life is short! It is important to enjoy the little things in life and smile.